I feel I’ve rejoined the conversation. And it’s nice to know people are still talking. But I have nothing new to add. Nothing different then what I’ve previously stated. And so I’m thinking I’ll be here but stay mute. Which is a lot like talking, only you’re the only one who can hear what you’re saying.

I’m playing some new songs tomorrow in Asbury Park, NJ, where the dust still settles from the huge Bamboozle Festival leaving town.  In comparison, my show will be quiet and understated and nothing much will come of it.  I plan to play the songs below.  They may be recorded one day.  Or they may not be played ever again.  I don’t know.  But it seems like writing the titles out makes them real, like they exist in some form other than my mind.  Plus, I like titles.  They are important.

Doesn’t look like much, huh?  Yeah, I agree.  Short list.  Lots of yellow space.  But they weren’t easy to make.

Anonymous asked: Are fan sites irrelevant in times of email/twitter/tumblr etc? Do you like that you have fan sites/blogs? People can have pretty direct contact with you at the moment (pending your burst into superstardom lol). You have contact with the fan sites and things, but do you feel like you need to give them more.. or do you feel like there should be more of a barrier? Like there should be separation, or something? A distance. I’m not sure what I mean, but hopefully you get me..

VE: Regretfully, I’m unable to grasp the second part of your question.  However, it seems to be somewhat related to the last question in this Q&A so I’ll save part of my answer for that.  As for the first part, I have never created a fan site or been part of one for another artist so I have no opinion about whether they are relevant or have become obsolete, as you seem to suggest.  But I view all the things you mentioned (email/twitter/fan sites) as tools that are available for anyone who wants to use them.  For some people, these tools provide a voice.  Personally, I speak best through my art.  The rest of these media tools I can live without.  But if they give others joy, if they give others a voice, that’s great.  I don’t see myself as having anything to do with any kind of fan site or blog or whatever.  Those are other people’s mouthpieces, not mine.  If it gives a person joy to create a separate space online where people can discuss my work with other fans, that’s great.  I’m flattered that anyone cares enough.  But that’s someone else’s outlet, someone else’s means of expression, and I can’t comment on that.  

Anonymous asked: If you could please act in some gay indie movie my life would be so much better.

VE: I didn’t realize there was such a thing as “gay indie movies.”  Is that a genre that I’m missing out on?  Would the film Shortbus fall into that category?  If the script/director/role is good, color me rainbowed.

Anonymous asked: What do you mean by “But this verdict is misguided justice.” in your tweet? Like, it was too harsh? Or not harsh enough?

VE: This is way too complex an issue to write about in a blog and not have someone take it the wrong way.  Nevertheless, I tweeted about it and already opened up the can, so I might as well elaborate.  Ravi won’t be sentenced until May so it remains to be seen how “harsh” his punishment will be.  And the case will surely be appealed.  But based on my restricted knowledge of the case—obtained through conversations with a family member who is a judge in the district and a buddy who is a lawyer; and news coverage, mostly an extensive New Yorker article which discussed the evidence—it seems to me that Ravi’s actions were more immature, insensitive and jerky than sinister.  Let me make it very clear.  Like I said in my tweet, Clementi’s death was tragic and Ravi’s actions were horrible and wrong.  I’m sure someone will jump down my throat because they believe that I’m somehow downplaying Ravi’s actions and/or Clementi’s death.  I’m not.  I don’t mean to be.

Some background about where I’m coming from in regards to two relevant factors in the case: The first, sexual orientation.  I actively support gay rights.  What does that mean?  I participated in anti-Prop 8 campaigns in California, make contributions to the Courage Campaign Institute, write letters to politicians, sign petitions, and tweet/facebook repeatedly about my support of marriage rights for everyone everywhere.  Some of the evidence suggests that Ravi may have cared more about Clementi being poor, tech-illiterate and co-opting their shared room than being gay.  The second factor—I’ve had to deal with suicide and depression in my family.  You come to realize that as much as you try to help, at the end of the day it’s out of your control.  You can lock someone in a room to try and save them (I’ve tried), but sadly, that person is going to do what they’re going to do.  

As far as Ravi and his actions, I did tons of stupid shit when I was in college, broke many laws.  I bullied other kids when I was in grade school.  I terrorized certain people.  I have no idea why.  I no longer recognize that kid who did those things.  I’m ashamed of him.  But that’s part of being young: acting irrationally and often recklessly.  I don’t believe I was/am a bad person.  I think I was naive, stupid and careless.

The two roommates barely talked.  One wonders what might have changed if instead of speaking through social media and their resident advisor, they spoke to each other.  When Ravi finally tried, it was too late.

Like I said, there’s too many aspects of the case to boil down into a short blog entry.  I’ll end by saying this: I don’t know what the right verdict is but I know this one feels strangely unjust to me.  What I meant by “misguided” in my tweet was that in these tragic situations people want answers and a person to blame and this particular answer feels too convenient (even though, according to my lawyer friend, that’s the way the law about bias intimidation is written and the only real course of action—if one disagrees with it—is to lobby against the law).  Ravi will likely be deported, though he’s spent most of his life here.  Clementi’s death filled me with sorrow: as a human, as an equal rights activist, as a person who’s battled depression personally and within my family, and as a Rutgers alumnus.  However, for some reason, now, at the end of the trial, I feel even worse.  

Anonymous asked: Do you believe in a thing called love?


VE: See my song “Cover Up.”  That’s how I feel on bad days.  Other days I’m optimistic.  Love is one of those words that is too messy to define.  So many different meanings.  In short, yes, I believe.  But wow, it’s a rare thing.  Near impossible to find.  And yes, I love that song by The Darkness.



Anonymous asked: How would you describe the idea and state you were in for each album, any songs you look back and think WTF or wow I can’t top that?


VE: This is such an expansive question.  In the interest of time, I can boil it down to these descriptors, all arrived at in retrospect. 

• The Fifteen Minute Relationship: test run
• Slow Down Kid (1): discovering, testing
• Slow Down Kid (2): tenuous, aggressive, strenuous, misguided, sterile
• Sunlight Searchparty: rebirth, searching
• Songs, Volume 1: Woodstock: limitless, abandon, in the moment
• Little Daggers: precision, layers, levity, methodical, solitary
• Looking For A Feeling You Never Knew You Needed: experimental, careerist, dramatic, boundless
• Aide Memoire: fearless, nostalgic, communal, pure

I have no idea what any of that means.

Slow Down Kid (2) has some WTF moments.  I think it’s too polished.  But overall I’m okay with what I’ve done over the course of my career.  What hasn’t been released, that’s some of the questionable stuff.  Conversely, I can’t think of any songs that are so well-executed or expertly written that I can’t top them.  


Anonymous asked: Your music seems to always define exactly what is going on in my head. You have mentioned in the past releasing a box collection of all your music, is there any chance for new music this year?


VE: At the moment, I have no plans to release more music.


Anonymous asked: Hey Val - What are your views on celebrity. Your music is so raw and personal but you rarely delve deep into your own personal life (which I respect). Do you feel that in today’s industry, musicians are selling themselves more so than their music?

VE: I go back and forth on this.  Sometimes I think if I shared more about my personal life, maybe people would feel a stronger connection to my music.  But other times, I remember that what I love about my favorite musicians is the mystery.  Even this blog sometimes feels too revealing to me, even though I’m only sharing fifty percent of what I’m really thinking.  

This dualism is a problem in my life.  On all issues, I’m pretty much torn down the middle.  I see both sides.  It fucks with my head.  I wish musicians didn’t have to be in salesmen mode.  That’s how it used to be.  But it’s a different world.  You have to self-promote.  I fucking hate it.  And it’s probably held me back.  Part of me wishes that I could tweet something true and honest (not that I lie, I just filter).  But I feel sort of embarrassed by the whole social network thing.  I wonder, Who cares what I have to say or what the fuck I’m doing?  And I get embarrassed for others who do it.  I don’t know why it bothers me.  So I mostly stay quiet and repress it and end up exploding in my personal life.  Hopefully that turmoil finds its way into the art.  Or else I’m extremely stressed.   

howboutno asked: Who have you run into or met in the past that you have been completly star struck to have met? And, let’s say tomorrow, if you were to run into the one person who you have yet to meet and would have you stumbling over your words in their presence, who would it be?

VE: I can’t remember most of them, honestly.  I just had lunch in L.A. this past Wednesday and J.K. Simmons was eating right next to me.  That sort of thing seems to happen pretty regularly.  I love J.K., so that was fun to listen to his distinct voice in my ear.  I’ve walked past or eaten near or drank next to some pretty choice names.  The highlights?  Jerry Seinfeld at a book release party.  Michael Stipe in Chelsea.  Bill Clinton at a screening.  But I didn’t meet these people.  I wouldn’t want to either.  There’s no point.  And I can’t think of another person I’d really want to meet, even though there are plenty whose presence would make me stumble over words.  Larry David said it beautifully in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm when his neighbor requested that Larry set up a meeting for him with Julia Louis Dreyfuss.  Larry says to his wife, Cheryl: “What could he possibly hope to gain from such a meeting?  Does he actually think they’re going to become friends?”  It’s all about Larry’s performance.  I agree with him, it’s pointless and silly    .

am13er asked: Me & my friends were playing the “would you rather…” game & thought i’d ask you one. Would you rather be stuck in quick sand with hundreds of huge ass spiders surrounding you or in the middle of the ocean with sharks?

VE: I could handle the spiders more than the sharks.  But, in the quicksand, I’d certainly die.  Whereas, in the ocean, I may survive.  I could remain still, play dead, until help arrived?  I have to assume I got there somehow.  A ship nearby?  Wreckage that I can hang onto?  Either scenario is scary to think about.  If you like these sorts of questions, check out Chuck Klosterman’s amazing Hypertheticals.  Great little game with friends.

Anonymous asked: Besides playing new songs to promote a new album; how do you choose what other older songs to play at a show? Flip a coin? Rock, paper, scissors? Or maybe its just a song you feel like playing that day?

VE: It’s a mix of factors.  If I’m playing a city that I don’t frequent, I’ll be sure to play a few of my most popular older tunes.  If I’m opening for another act’s fans, I try to choose songs that complement that band’s sound.  I only play songs I want to play.  The newer the song, usually the more fun it is to play.  One limitation is my band’s repertoire, whether or not they know a certain song.  Often, we only have time to rehearse a select number of tunes for a specific occasion.  I’d like it better if we were able to pull out any song from my catalog at any given moment. 

Anonymous asked: You are such a beautiful person. I hope you get everything you want and need (well, almost everything, you know too much of getting what you want can’t be a good thing) and that you’re mostly happy. I know you were born with your cute face and personality, essentially - and you can’t help / take credit for those, but your sweetness, and amazingness, was chosen.

VE: This is very nice of you to say.  Thank you.  My average forecast: mostly happy with periods of dread and sorrow.

am13er asked: With who is nominated this year, who are your choices for Best Picture, Leading/Supporting Actor & Actress for the Academy Awards?

VE: I’ve only seen 5 of the 9 Best Picture nominees.  Based on my tastes and what I know of Malick’s other films, I suspect Tree Of Life will be my favorite when I finally get to see it (no pressure).  But, of the ones I’ve seen, I would probably go with The Artist.  Actor, Clooney.  Actress, Williams.  Supporting Actor, Plummer; I think
Beginners was my favorite film of the year.  Supporting Actrees, Bejo.

Anonymous asked: January 11 thru February 13 (or the date on which you get to part 2 of your best of 2012 list) anything fun, exciting, or new happen?

VE: I wasn’t planning on continuing that, so I’ve already forgotten what I did a month ago.  Been reading, writing (not songs), watching films/TV, cooking, auditioning. Typing words to you. 

abandoncontrol asked: Hi there. I just thought I’d stop by and say that I love your music :)) Oh and by the way, I’m from Bulgaria so uhh yeah, your music is travelling around the world. Anyway, that was really random. Okay, you’re lovely, thanks, bye

VE: You’re lovely for taking a moment to write me a note.  It’s nice to hear.  I’m surprised and pleased to hear that my music somehow came to your attention in Bulgaria. 

Anonymous asked: No questions. Just… Aide Memoire helped heal my heart this year. And I miss Ted Hawkins too.

VE: That’s quite a feat.  Very kind of you to say.  Writing it helped my own heart too. 

Anonymous asked: Glad to see that you like M83, too. I actually have to thank you, because I wouldn’t have discovered them if it wasn’t for you. I bought the Paste magazine with the CD sampler a few years ago because you were on it, and they were on it too. — (Fine Print Reading) Joe

VE: To me M83 is background music.  That might sound like a knock but I don’t mean it that way.  For the most part when I listen to music I pay attention.  Music, to me, isn’t a mere accompaniment to some other central activity.  It is the activity.  But one of my main problems is not being able to relax and so I’m trying to expand my use of music.  M83 helps me do that.  It’s music to get lost in, to daydream to.  It affects my mood in a non-specific way.  It leaves me alone; it doesn’t drags me into its affairs.  I don’t care what Anthony Gonzalez is saying.  And that’s something very new and refreshing for me. 

Anonymous asked: Got any plans or expectations set up for 2012?

VE: This may be the hardest question I’ve ever been asked.  Not because I don’t have a very specific list of things I wish to accomplish.  The frightening part is what I’ve decided not to include on that list.  I feel the need to reshape my life in a major way.  I’m being vague, yes.  Because I’m scared to say something I’ll regret.  If I write it down, it might embarrass me later.  So my answer to your question, for now, comes in the form of this unimaginative metaphor: for years I’ve been banging my head against the same wall, trying to break through it.  It’s clear I’m not doing damage to the wall, only to my head.  My only real option seems to involve taking a step backwards and walking in an entirely new direction.  Even saying that much, I’m embarrassed.    

theneverendinglist asked: Hey Val, Just wanted to thank you so much for coming to Cleveland. It had been 7 long years almost to the date that I got to last see you perform in Detroit. I’ve got to say it was worth the wait and I was even Happier that I could share it with my Family as well (not enough adults bring there kids to all ages shows to expose them to wonderful music). To think of all the things that have changed in our lives in the last 7 years is amazing, but your still making music and I’m still listening….

VE: Here’s another way to look at it.  In dog years, I tour Cleveland yearly.  Thanks for waiting. 

Anonymous asked: Serious: You need to update the link on “I get sad.” I suggest a Kardashian family portrait? Semi-serious: Or you could rename it to ‘y’all get sad’ and put up a picture of you in your underwear pointing at yourself because you’re never going to show us all what you’re working with hahahahaha.. ;)

VE: I went in a different direction.  Check out my new sadness.

My memory is shot.  I’ve told you many times, even based an album on it.  I typically do a year end Best-Of list like everyone else in the universe, but not this year.  I can’t remember anything from last year unless I go back through my calendar and shut my eyes and concentrate.  And that’s a dangerous journey because I might recall something that’s better left forgotten.  This year I’m trying something different.  Here is my best of 2012 list, so far.  How much can someone experience in 10 days?  Surprisingly, a lot.

TV

• Angry boys.  When I heard Chris Lilley, the star and creator of the brilliant show (I don’t use that word lightly) Summer Heights High was coming back to HBO with a new show, I immediately set my DVR.  Only two episodes in and I’m in heaven.  The second coming of Sascha Baron Cohen.
• The Bachelor.  That’s right, I said it.  I love this fucking show and so does Howard Stern, whatever that means.  There is no irony in this pick.  I just straight-up love it.  It’s so horribly wrong and yet feels so right.
• House Hunters.  Against my will, the TV in my living room is often tuned to HGTV and this show has grown on me over time.  I had no idea I was interested in homes.  But it’s more than that, it’s about the people buying them, the locales (both exotic and common) and the dreams of a future life that it inspires. 

Music

• Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know.”  I can’t remember the last time I felt compelled to stay in my car to hear the end of a song.  I was listening to satellite radio and this song hit the chorus and I couldn’t get out of my car.  I had never heard of the artist and thought for a minute I was onto something new.  Then I went inside and saw that the video for the song had 33 million hits.  It’s almost viral!  (If you don’t get that last joke, check out my miniseries “Making A Hit Video.”)  Turns out I’m the last to know.  Often, I’m dumbfounded by what makes a song/artist/album explode, but I get why people are attracted to this song.  It has all the right elements, not the least of which is a catchy, emotive, unaffected vocal delivery, something sadly lacking in “popular” music. 
• Ted Hawkins, Watch Your Step.  I guess you’d call Ted Hawkins a folk blues artist.  That’s not the kind of thing I’m typically into.  I don’t get off on the soulful musings of artists like Ray LaMontagne.  I recognize something there, but it doesn’t speak to me.  But Ted Hawkins is (was) the real thing.  He died over 15 years ago.  The first song I heard was “The Lost Ones” and I felt the pain so viscerally, I felt a lump in my throat.  I researched him and found out he was basically a street performer from Venice Beach who achieved some success in Britain but not much in the States.  Though, he did receive a rare 5 stars from Rolling Stone for Watch Your Step.  I love the nakedness, the sound, the spirit, the sadness, and the directness of the lyrics.  I wish I wrote “Sorry You’re Sick,” but I recognize that I never could because I never had that sort of existence.  My problems, though they seem serious to me, pale in comparison to those communicated in Hawkins’ music.  But I feel it just as much.  I hear a real human being in there.
• M83, “Midnight City.”  From the Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming album.  It’s a double-album, so it’s taking me time to get through.  But this is the track that hooked me.  
• Sleigh Bells, “Born To Lose.”  This band continues to amaze me.  I wonder how far they can take this bombastic sound before it grows tiresome.

BOOKS

• Publish This Book, by Stephen Markley.  A gift, and I’m so appreciative.  But this is not a great book (in my humble opinion, sorry Sara, I can’t lie!).  Still, it has to be on my list because I’ve only read one book so far this year, it’s only been 10 days.  I appreciate the attempt by Markley.  It’s meta: the whole book is about trying to get the very book you’re reading published.  The book is about the book.  But it wanders and I found myself doing something I honestly never do—skip ahead.  And it didn’t matter that I skipped over huge chunks, which proves my point.  I didn’t miss anything that prevented me from understanding the next chapter (though let me say I only skipped over a few Love Interest scenes).  I did laugh at times, which means Markley partially succeeded, but I found myself agreeing with his professor’s suggestion that he pull back on the shit and sex jokes.  I’m all for that stuff but at a certain point it inhibits you from getting closer to the real human being in there.  Disclaimer: I’ve still got a hundred pages left, so if this chaos finds a purposeful balance, I’m going to feel like a real dickhead for pre-judging.  My preemptive apologies, because I hate when people do that to me.  That said, it’s nearly 500 pages long so he’s had enough time to convince me.
• Pearl Jam Twenty.   I’ve been skimming this.  It’s not a book you have to read in a straight line.  It was a holiday regift from a fellow enthusiast of the band. Although I still buy Pearl Jam albums the day they come out, I haven’t been a fervent fan for some years now.  My respect for their business practices and the way they protect their art and fans is through the roof, but my heart strings rarely get pulled by the music anymore.  Still, the book is an enjoyable trip down memory lane and so was the accompanying film which I saw on a Saturday morning in an empty theatre in New York City last September (I remember that clearly!).
• Wild Abandon, by Joe Dunthorne.  This is a cheat.  I haven’t read it yet, but it’s next on my list.  It’s Dunthorne’s followup to his debut novel, Submarine, which has since been made a film (That book showed up on my 2008 list.  Do I know how to pick them or what?  I told you.)

FILMS

• Tiny Furniture.  I met Lena Dunham, the film’s writer/director, before I ever saw her film.  I auditioned for her new HBO show, Girls.  No, I didn’t get the part.  I knew about her film and had planned to see it when it came out in 2010 but never did.  It’s now streaming on Netflix, which is where I saw it.  Such an impressive debut by a person still in her twenties.  Then I found out both her parents were artists.  My parents were in education and business.  Maybe that’s why I suck.
• Bill Cunningham New York.  This film sneaks up on you.  At first you feel like you’re just watching a documentary about another eccentric, but by the end you’re holding back the tears.  Cunningham, photographer for the New York Times, is more than fascinating.  He is a man lost in time and I will miss him when he is gone.  (Also streaming on Netflix, by the way).
• The Descendants.  Saw it in the theatre and loved it.  A hardfought balance of sadness and joy.  I can’t recall Clooney acting any better.  Turns out Hawaii is not only a nice place to visit in real life but on the big screen too.  And if the woman/man/creature a few rows back wasn’t munching on her popcorn so loudly then I would have loved it even more.  This is why I only see movies during the day on weekdays.  The less people the better.  
• Tree of Life, Moneyball, The Artist, My Week With Marilyn, Beginners, The Iron Lady and more.  As a member of SAG, I get to see lots of free movies.  These are all on deck.  By the end of the year, I will have forgotten about all of them.

Biggest Surprise

Waking up without a hangover on New Year’s Day after a wicked combo of wine, beer, champagne, tequila and a bowl.

What else happened..

• My sister visited from Florida.
• Best Indian food I ever had at Devi in New York.
• Watched yet another cop run a stop sign, not even slowing down a bit.  I want one to hit me.
• Had two band rehearsals during which we practiced a song we’ve never played live before (Hint: Mercury Lounge on Jan 13th).

That’s it.  My mind is exploding.  If this much happened in just ten days, how can I be expected to remember what happens over the course of 365 of them?  I can’t and I won’t.  Good thing I wrote this down. 

howboutno asked: Yeah! You’re going on tour! As you gear up for hitting the road, what would be your mix you’d put together to keep your spirits high on those long drives?

VE: I restocked my iPhone for the trip.  Some noteworthy additions:

Notice I’m still listening to full albums.  Am I the only one left?  Plus, one of the great things about traveling with other people is that they turn you on to stuff you’ve missed, so I’m excited about that.

saukdee asked: You’re website looks amazing! Nice upgrade. :) You’re one of my favorites. Love that voice of yours… and Secondhand Serenade’s John Vesely recommended you to his fans back when myspace was the cool “social networking” site. I’ve been a fan of yours for awhile now. :) Best regards.

VE: I’m glad you like my website, though it hasn’t been redesigned in about two years.  I caught you not visiting.  Glad you’re back.  Thanks for the kind words.  I appreciate it!

Anonymous asked: Hey Val!!! I’m in your mother’s language arts class, and ever since she taught my older brother I’ve been a HUGE fan!! I don’t think it is apropriate to be cursing on a website. What if kids like me come on the website? I love your new album, but i can’t find it anywhere! I guess I’ll ask your mom if she has any copies. Bye for now! ~D

VE: Hi there.  My new album is available on iTunes and Amazon and the best place to find out info about that stuff is always my website valemmich.com.  There are direct links to purchase the album. About profanity, I appreciate your comment but I value honesty and I trust those reading this know my intentions.  There are curses in my songs.  Curses are part of every language, part of expression.  They are often overused but when used with some skill they are exactly what’s needed.  I don’t curse in public around children (or try really hard not to).  That’s my choice.  But I don’t think cursing has anything to do with morality.  I think humans innately know what is right and wrong.  When a dog is kicked, it yelps.  Any child can sense its pain.  It’s primal.  When a kid hears a curse, he doesn’t know it’s wrong unless someone tells him so (or when he sees the adult’s reaction).  Profanity is subjective.  It’s a gray area.  And no one dies from it.  This is my little world here.  I don’t force anyone to read this.  With all due respect, if cursing bothers you, it’s best not to read this blog.  P.S. I hope you love my mother.

Anonymous asked: Would you ever consider doing video response to the questions you recieve on here?

VE: I have thought about it and several times I’ve been close to doing it.  We shall see.

howboutno asked: This question has a build up, so Amber finally watched Team America and we’ve made it a priority to say Matt Damon pretty much any where. She told me about this video of a guy at the Invictus premiere who had Matt Damon in front of him and he kept taunting him with just saying that line from Team America - it ended up being something this guy could cross off his bucket list. So - if you were to have a bucket list, what are a few things you would include on your list?

VE: Hard question.  I don’t have a bucket list and doubt I ever will.  I want to do everything.  Literally, if a thought comes into my head, I want to do it and I get down when I realize I might not be able to because I don’t have the ability, the money, the time, or whatever.  I’m a curious person and so my list grows and grows.  I think I’m learning that I have to stop doing certain things in order to have time to start doing other things.  Anyway, sorry for the vague answer.  I realize now that I’m sort of embarrassed to share some of the things I’d like to do.  I’d much rather do things than talk about doing them.  Hope my answer didn’t disappoint you.

am13er asked: I was looking through some of my old pictures I’ve taken of you at shows I’ve been to and I just realized the lack of you wearing your ‘beat up vest’. Did you finally retire your vest?

VE: I’ve got many vests and I don’t see any of them being removed from my closet anytime soon.